Baby And
Child
Loss

MEET CAROLE

My name is Carole, I am an experienced and fully qualified person centred therapist. Following the sudden loss of my own child in 2000, I came into counselling in the hope that I could help other bereaved parents. I have worked for Liverpool Bereavement Service for 10 years and have extensive training specialising in baby and child loss.

I counsel family members who have experienced loss through IVF treatment, miscarriage, stillbirths and all child loss regardless of age. LBS is committed to supporting the work and services provided by the Honeysuckle team at The Liverpool Women’s Hospital and privileged to be able to provide this bespoke service to all parents and grandparents throughout Merseyside who have lost children.

FUNDING AND DONATIONS

In October 2020 LBS secured a six month funding grant from the National Lottery. This provided the opportunity for me to increase the number of parents and family members I support.

Donations will enable us to sustain and expand this valuable service.

Should you require further details of how our service may be able to support you please telephone 0151 236 3932.

“CAROLE WAS FANTASTIC . . . ”

“I just wanted to give some feedback on the service I received from Carole, one of your counsellors.

Carole was fantastic with me, she was so patient and calm and helped me to recognise and deal with emotions I had about the loss of our baby. In the six week program where Carole called me every week, I felt so much more positive and felt supported to have the difficult conversations with my partner because I was able to discuss and process thoughts and feelings before/after talking to him.

Lockdown was so hard, it brought up things we hadn’t dealt with and Carole and Liverpool Bereavemeant services was invaluable in us moving on. I am so grateful.”

“HELPED ME REFLECT ON THE HAPPY MEMORIES . . . ”

“I just wanted to send my thanks for the therapy and support I have received from Liverpool Bereavement Service and also provide some feedback of my experience.

I was put in touch with Carole whom I had four telephone sessions with. I found Carole to be kind, compassionate, empathetic, knowledgable and helped me to make sense of the way I was feeling by giving me time to work through how I was feeling and why. She also provided much needed reassurance that everything I was feeling was quite normal and helped me to reflect on the happy memories I have. Both Sue and Carole showed professionalism whilst also providing a maternal hug and I am just so grateful to both of them for helping me to see things more clearly.

Thank you so much Liverpool Bereavement Service, I think what you offer is amazing and the people of Liverpool are so lucky to have this service available.”

SEARCHING FOR THE FINAL RESTING PLACE OF A STILL BORN BABY

This is a very difficult situation that families who suffered the loss of a baby through still birth can face. Finding the final resting place of a baby lost due to still birth can be a very difficult and painful process for some families who have been bereaved in this way in the past.

Prior to 1992, pregnancy loss before 28 weeks was not registered as a death, but rather as a late miscarriage. In 1992, the gestation was dropped to 24 weeks and remains so now. Any babies born before28 weeks prior this date would sadly not be registered.

Any baby born after 28 weeks’ gestation before 1992 should be registered, regardless of whether it was a home or hospital birth. Some comfort can be taken from the fact that these babies were usually buried or cremated together, and while parents were not asked to attend, there was a respectful service, and some words of prayer would have been said.

Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity, has special certificates available for free in the shop for you to record your baby’s details if this feels right for you. We have attached an information booklet provided by Sands that details the steps you need to take in order to find the final resting place of your baby. Sands Information Booklet

If you feel that would benefit from counselling, then please do get in touch with us.

Contact details for cemeteries and crematoria:

Liverpool – 0151 233 3004 email: [email protected]

Wirral – 0151 666 3001 email: [email protected]

Catholic Archdiocese (for enquiries relating to Ford, Yew Tree and Ainsdale cemeteries) – 0151 522 1017 email [email protected]

An Ugly Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realise that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think
about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

-Author unknown